The Wait

I first saw her last December , on a cool Mumbai evening.

It was love at first sight.

No, it wasn't a girl. 

It was Interstellar.

Actually it was just the first teaser trailer. But it was enough for me. This is where my story begins.

For countless reasons, only some of which are fathomable, I haven't been able to write for this whole year, barring the one time in February. Needless to say, it has been a difficult time.

Like I said, it was December, and I had already given CAT, along with a bunch of others for getting into a B-school. None of them were promising enough for me to be hopeful. And this was my second and last attempt. Adding to it, I'd been told I won't get promoted with the rest of my buddies at work. That was the sacrifice I'd made for CAT.

 Staring into depths of an uncertain future, I came across this trailer. When I shared it on facebook, this was the caption:

Come what may in 2014 - I will absorb everything, and wait. Because now I can take it.

People often talk about their happy place. When times were bad for me, I'd say to myself, "Don't worry. Whatever happens, Man United have a game to play next week."

After watching this trailer, I had the same feeling. As long of Christopher Nolan is making movies, it's a reason to live for. 

I know it sounds crazy and perhaps melodramatic. Perhaps not to those who know me and my relationship with movies. But this year long wait for Interstellar got me through countless times of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. 

Without going into details, I'll just say this: Most people I've met tell me emotional sensitivity is a weakness. But it really isn't. If you believe in good, then no matter how many times you break, you'll always find a way to heal, rise, and come back stronger.

So when today, 7th November arrived, the expectations had grown like an avalanche with every trailer, every moment, every breath.

THE BIG DAY

Ideally I'd have gone for the first show, but my mid-term exams were to conclude today. I spent 1200 bucks (for any foreigners reading this, it's actually rupees. We call them bucks to sound cool) on the ticket. This came as a shock to those here who don't know me that well. 

1. I was going alone, and 

2. I'd spent 1200 friggin' bucks on a movie ticket.

I had barely submitted my last answer sheet, and half my friends had already gathered and galloped to drink, who I'd have joined on any other day.

But then, today wasn't just any other day.

I have never, ever in my whole life, waited so longingly for anything. 

After throwing away the useless question paper and opening my wardrobe, a thought hit me: I'm gonna go dressed up for Interstellar. I couldn't help but smile at my own passionate insanity. Perhaps you now understand, why I was doing this alone. This was a date.

On my way to the movies, adrenaline was now starting to build up. Let's speed up that process, and make this story a perfect circle. Open phone --> Open video player --> There's only one video. 

And there she was, the teaser trailer.

Four hours later, I wonder - how many times does this happen in life? You wait a painstakingly long 11 months for the perfect day - and when you finally experience it, you find that perfect isn't even the perfect word?

To watch a movie is human, but a Nolan...divine

A surprisingly happy post.

Yes, I'm writing again. I know I said I wouldn't blog again, but this week has inspired me to do this.

As a short catch up, I'm living in Mumbai now, working with Deloitte Consulting. The extent to which life has changed after coming here is so immense, that it I've decided to dedicate a completely different post to it. Let's fast forward a bit for now.

So about two months ago, I receive a mail from my college, informing me of the date and time of the convocation.

I'll be honest here. I was exasperated at the thought of going back to college. True, I wanted to catch up with my close friends, but the thought of getting those umpteen signatures and certificates was tiring itself. In any case, I had to go.

A few weeks later, I proudly purchased the flight tickets with my own money for the first time.

The initial apprehension began fading away as the day of my journey, November the 1st, inched closer. I believe this was largely due to the monotony of work for a prolonged period.

As a result, I was pretty excited while packing my bags the night before my journey, not because I was finally meeting my friends who I hadn't seen for about a year, but because this was a welcome break from work. And I hadn't even gone home for Diwali, which has never happened before.

If you're wondering how someone couldn't be insanely excited at the prospect of going to a convocation, then here's your answer. After spending six solitary months training in Baroda, I think I hardened up a few notches. Inured, as my friend Rishav quotes.

I headed off for Pulkit's home via the metro after landing in Delhi at around nine. But I changed my mind midway, and went to Gunjeet's instead, since it was already getting late and our cab to Patiala would be starting there itself.

Following a series of instructions from Gunjeet for reaching his house from the metro station, I felt as a guy going to rescue his girlfriend from a kidnapper. Since his parents were around, I couldn't exactly yell out nonsense (like I imagined I would) when I finally saw him and Mathur at the door. While catching up with both of them, I looked forward to the cab ride next morning.


Sadly, the ride to Patiala wasn't as entertaining as I'd hoped it would be. It was easy to figure out why. They (Gunjeet, Mathur, Pulkit, Nitin, Karan) were all used to running into each other every other month. This was nothing new. The only interesting part was Mathur's handwriting analysis. It's funny how everyone wants to know what they project to the world, irrespective of their i-don't-care-what-people-think attitude


From the moment I got off in college, I saw a similar pattern. The people I wanted to actually spend time with didn't even seem moderately interested in doing the same. But then evening came, and people seemed to come in torrents out of nowhere. Hugs and handshakes galore.


Yet again, the juniors were the more enthusiastic lot. Some of my batchmates were an absolute delight as well. You just know from that first look when you meet someone, that he/she is genuinely happy to see you again. And that feeling just gets better when it comes from someone unexpected.


So much in life depends on the choices we make. The following morning I chose not to do some formalities to get some money refunded. And the day after that, I didn't take our cab for Delhi. Two great decisions. Two perfect days.


I call this a surprisingly happy post. Usually during college, my image was that of a moody depressed guy. This week, looking at everybody, I felt like the happiest guy in the world.
Chatting away like a gossip girl, skipping meals and other comforts like sleeping, just to meet everyone. Some sacrifices are worth taking.


I think my experience would've been different had this convocation been 4 months ago. But thanks to Mumbai, I've been re-programmed. More on that in the next post.