The Wait

I first saw her last December , on a cool Mumbai evening.

It was love at first sight.

No, it wasn't a girl. 

It was Interstellar.

Actually it was just the first teaser trailer. But it was enough for me. This is where my story begins.

For countless reasons, only some of which are fathomable, I haven't been able to write for this whole year, barring the one time in February. Needless to say, it has been a difficult time.

Like I said, it was December, and I had already given CAT, along with a bunch of others for getting into a B-school. None of them were promising enough for me to be hopeful. And this was my second and last attempt. Adding to it, I'd been told I won't get promoted with the rest of my buddies at work. That was the sacrifice I'd made for CAT.

 Staring into depths of an uncertain future, I came across this trailer. When I shared it on facebook, this was the caption:

Come what may in 2014 - I will absorb everything, and wait. Because now I can take it.

People often talk about their happy place. When times were bad for me, I'd say to myself, "Don't worry. Whatever happens, Man United have a game to play next week."

After watching this trailer, I had the same feeling. As long of Christopher Nolan is making movies, it's a reason to live for. 

I know it sounds crazy and perhaps melodramatic. Perhaps not to those who know me and my relationship with movies. But this year long wait for Interstellar got me through countless times of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. 

Without going into details, I'll just say this: Most people I've met tell me emotional sensitivity is a weakness. But it really isn't. If you believe in good, then no matter how many times you break, you'll always find a way to heal, rise, and come back stronger.

So when today, 7th November arrived, the expectations had grown like an avalanche with every trailer, every moment, every breath.

THE BIG DAY

Ideally I'd have gone for the first show, but my mid-term exams were to conclude today. I spent 1200 bucks (for any foreigners reading this, it's actually rupees. We call them bucks to sound cool) on the ticket. This came as a shock to those here who don't know me that well. 

1. I was going alone, and 

2. I'd spent 1200 friggin' bucks on a movie ticket.

I had barely submitted my last answer sheet, and half my friends had already gathered and galloped to drink, who I'd have joined on any other day.

But then, today wasn't just any other day.

I have never, ever in my whole life, waited so longingly for anything. 

After throwing away the useless question paper and opening my wardrobe, a thought hit me: I'm gonna go dressed up for Interstellar. I couldn't help but smile at my own passionate insanity. Perhaps you now understand, why I was doing this alone. This was a date.

On my way to the movies, adrenaline was now starting to build up. Let's speed up that process, and make this story a perfect circle. Open phone --> Open video player --> There's only one video. 

And there she was, the teaser trailer.

Four hours later, I wonder - how many times does this happen in life? You wait a painstakingly long 11 months for the perfect day - and when you finally experience it, you find that perfect isn't even the perfect word?

To watch a movie is human, but a Nolan...divine

The Amazing build-up to TDKR

Just so we're clear, this is not a spoiler. I merely attempt to capture my experience before I watched it. I would rather die than ruin THIS of all movies for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I mean it.

By now as most of you must've realized how crazy I am about movies. After reading this you might consider the fact that you underestimated my fanaticism. Let me tell you something: you always will.

I had pre-booked the tickets for The Dark Knight Rises for IMAX on the 28th of June. The date is relevant, since it helps emphasize the enormity of my shock and surprise that I didn't get it. The moment I discovered that (late Wednesday), I cancelled it before it redirected my request to a sub-standard theater. 

Then I checked PVR's site and found that my favorite theater was almost entirely empty for the first show of the morning on Friday at 9 o clock. Unsurprisingly, it took a lot of time to process my request because of the potential traffic at that point of time. The most anticipated movie of all time had turned virtually every online movie booking site into IRCTC.

After I successfully booked a top-row seat, the excitement was more palpable than ever. I felt like dancing all over Mumbai. Smiling for so long made it look like I had a coat-hanger stuck in my mouth.

You might have observed I said seat, not seats. Yes, I had decided to watch it alone. It was decided the moment I saw the trailer. A man with unconditional love towards something would never allow anything to come between him and his love. He would not tolerate the slightest criticism, or any comparison to anything/anyone else whatsoever. My friends tend to judge the movie based on the intermission, which I really hate. They say things like 'the first half was better' etc. Directors never intend to include an intermission.

Some may call this paranoia, like my friends here, but that's how it is. If you don't share another man's passion, then his passion is likely to be perceived as paranoia by you.

It was Thursday night, and my excitement had somehow turned into some sort of anxiety. I actually couldn't sleep through the night. I tried to sleep early, but was in a state of half-sleep throughout. Flashes of Batman were popping into my head, and it was so tangled up that you can't even call it a dream. I had been off the radar for a week ahead of the movie. I stopped reading the news, both offline and online, stopped tweeting etc. I was already off Facebook for a month. I tried to make the possibility of coming across a spoiler near to zero.

Even though I didn't sleep well, I woke up with the first alarm without a second thought, got ready, and set out on a journey, which was likely to be a life-changing one. When I got to the box office, I was taken aback by the multiple queues lined up. It was 8.45 in the morning !

It's always overwhelming to see that there are other people who share your passion.

I remember staring wide-eyed at this couple who were getting two tickets for Cocktail. At 9 in the morning. On a Friday. Oh, who am I to judge?

The theater was housefull within minutes. After the wonderful 52 seconds of the National Anthem were over, there was a calm throughout the theater. A calm before the storm. Then something happened, which I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams would happen on that day.

The screen read: "Trailer: Man of Steel", and the audience started clapping and shouting. Before I could start wondering what was the big deal about this movie, the music started, and a woman's soft lament echoed between the walls. The moment it started, several chills went up my spine, and this electricity started flowing in my body. It was so beautiful and sad, I actually felt like crying. Judge all you want, but if you allow it, music can do that to you.

During those timeless seconds, I noticed the names Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan on the screen, finishing with a man flying through the clouds. It was Superman.

Those sixty seconds really got to me. I think they made the entire experience a little more awesome.

I am not going to discuss/review the movie. I believe movies are like people: judge them by yourself, and leave others' opinions aside. Only then you will realize how you really feel about the movie, or the person. A review will rob you of the freedom of choosing the good or bad in a movie, even if it's a good review. 

All I'll say is: I walked in with goosebumps. I walked out in bliss, hope and more goosebumps.

Of Movies and Musings.

1.This post is not intended in any way to criticize anyone's opinions.

2. When I say movie, I mean Hollywood.

Just like for anything else, everyone has their own opinion of movies they watch. Where once only the Academy existed, now there're entire websites dedicated to reviews and ratings. IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes.. you get the point.

This, inevitably has led to the biasing of the public's judgement. Many worship IMDb and their list of the top 250, and some of them don't watch anything rated below 7. Others call the movie total crap if it somehow passes over their head, or doesn't live up to their expectations.

Personally, I don't judge a movie by its rating. Not entirely, at least. I think I've more faith in the Academy.

Now you can all come at me flying with daggers, 'Tera kya jaa raha hai... Sabki apni choice hai..' etc.

Before you do so, I'm not here to tell you to make the right choice. This is not about what movies you like, but about those you don't like and tag as nonsense. The minds behind the movie deserve much more respect and credit than what we give. After all, it's a work of art.

Consider Da Vinci's art as an example. Most of you would be aware about the plethora of interpretations of The Last Supper, or the symmetrical beauty of The Vitruvian Man or the mystery behind that Mona Lisa smile. Heck, these very intricacies form the grounds for so many novels, and subsequently documentaries/movies.

That's the power of one single image.

Imagine the possible depth in a string of such images. Vis-a-vis, a movie.

If you think that you can comprehend that depth in one watch, you're kidding yourself. Of course, not everyone prefers to go that way. Some like it shallow. But please don't go mocking legends like Christopher Nolan, just because you didn't get Inception. 

DiCaprio with God.

Again, the problem is not is your depth or shallowness. Yes, some people just watch movies for fun, and some dig deep and try to look from the director's perspective. But no movie deserves to be called trash, especially when a movie blossoms after the painstaking efforts of hundreds. Ask yourself, does calling Mona Lisa stupid make any sense to you at all ? A movie is no different. They're both a work of art.

One of my friends made a movie (Antiparallel) in his first year. There was a lot of publicity before the screening, and expectations were high. I couldn't attend the screening for some reason. Afterwards, on what I heard from most friends, they didn't get one bit of it. Two years later, when this guy became a close friend, I finally watched it. Obviously, after what most people said, I wasn't too fussed about watching it.

It turned out to be superb. I had to watch a couple of scenes twice, and had a doubt about the last one. But coming from a first year, it was surprisingly intense and ornate.

I felt guilty about my earlier judgement. Art needs time to be perceived. 

The same goes for Inception too. Every time I watch it (5-6 times as of now), I observe something new, and it leaves me astounded every single time.

I'm not endorsing my friend's movie or Inception here (But I don't deny Christopher Nolan is my God). At some point, I'm sure many of you have discovered new insights after watching a movie again.

Lastly, this isn't a request to go watch the entirety of Hollywood and try hard to fall in love with every one of them. It's obviously up to you what you wanna watch. All I'm saying, some movies deserve more than one watch to be judged. And don't let sites like IMDb cloud your opinion even before you watch it, when you have a working brain to make your own opinions.

So, the next time you hear your mom tell off you, or your sibling, "Kitni baar dekhoge? Aajtak koi chapter toh padha nahi ek baar se zyada..", you can tell her that:

Mom, there are some things that are just meant to be done again.