Thinking matters.

The inspiration to write comes to various people in various ways. For me, it comes when I have a really happy spike in my graph of life, or when I am blessed with a brilliant epiphany. This post is a result of a bit of both.

People who've been in touch with me recently know that I'm coming out of some tough times. I am tempted to use the word 'harrowing', but that seems like needless exaggeration now.

Everyone faces problems. It doesn't matter if you're the richest, wisest or strongest person on earth. You WILL face problems one way or the other.

I have a habit of overthinking, like I've mentioned in one of my previous posts. So I had this issue with my landlord, which was easy bait for my worrying head. It kept on amplifying it until it showed on my face, my work, and everything I do.

Most people told me I was being my usual paranoid self and I should stop worrying - the standard advice. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work for me. Knuckleheads like me need something eccentric to get shaken off the paranoia.

Whilst these crazy times, I watched Midnight in Paris. The next day, I couldn't help thinking about Owen Wilson, and how his idea of a book meant more than anything to him, to the extent of leading him to hallucinate about it. I marveled at how a man could get possessed by a singular thought and let it bring the best out of him. And that's when it hit me.


If there's one thing I learnt from the movie, it's that there are just too many things to think about in this world, of which only some matter. The rest are inconsequential.


I looked back at my thoughts over the past weeks, and realised how little it mattered, and how stupid I had been. That very moment I made a decision, and put it immediately out of my head.


If you give something a lot more thought than it needs, it will spread from your head like a virus throughout your body. If you let it, it will destroy you, like it almost did me. Trust me, I am not joking. An unpleasant thought can be more dangerous than any virus or bacteria. You might have Hrithik Roshan's abs or be Kareena Kapoor's nutritionist, but your physical health means squat if you're mentally unhealthy.


So just close your eyes for a moment, and think about everything that's worrying you right now. Now think again.


Would it really matter if you're unable to impress that girl?
If you lost a phone worth 30 grand, would crying about it get the phone back?
Are bad grades worth getting into chronic depression?


It might be easy for me to say it, but such thoughts are just not worth it. YOU are not worth it.
Sachin didn't utter a single word throughout the 100 centuries' drama, until he actually made it. Contrary to what people might say, I believe he's been able to do it because of his love for the game and the country. If he would've let the media and fans get to him more than it did, he'd have retired a long time back. But he never has, and never will.


Great people have achieved what they have, because they thought about the right things. They figured out what matters and what doesn't, which made all the difference.


Let your passion be the centre of your life, not your problems.

Just Relax

Time and again you hear stories or watch movies where some major incident happens to someone, in total randomness, and somehow changes that person's life.

It's been six months in Mumbai now, and looking back at 2011, the contrast between the first and second half of the year has been stupendous for me.


While there wasn't a single person to talk to in the first, I've been surrounded by so many ever since Mumbai happened. Heck, I was meeting five different people everyday for the first couple of weeks.


If I could, I'd place a ruler on the screen, draw a vertical line and state the differences like a question for five marks. But I won't go into details here as I'm pretty sure people know what living in Mumbai means. It's different for me since I jumped so suddenly from Baroda to Bombay, much like an atom from the innermost shell to the outermost one. (I thought I should include atleast one geeky joke to remind myself that I'm actually an engineer)


This is a city of a wonderful plethora of people, and I have really enjoyed being a part of the lives of some very special people.

For many a year now, I've been constantly told that I think too much. These people I'm talking about have carried on that tradition as well.


Some of us just can't help it. We just have the tendency to overthink every little thing. You hear words like 'Just Chill', 'Abe senti kyun ho raha hai', 'Dude just relax..', and it can be really irritating. But after yesterday, I simply have to accept that those words make sense.


It was a typical Friday evening. The five of us hadn't had a fun friday together for a while, what with people going home or elsewhere for Christmas and New year's eve. We were going in groups of two and three, me being one of the two.


Time and traffic were in plenty, and random trains of thought led the two of us to talk about career, what we're doing, what we want... you know the story. The auto driver pulled the brakes awkwardly in the middle of a highway, since a Santro was standing as well.


Moments later, we heard a loud screech of brakes, then crash. Before we could figure out why exactly the car was stopped there, another rammed into the rear of our vehicle, knocking us halfway off our seats. And as we were spontaneously figuring out how to react, there was another series of screech, crash and jerk.


Since this isn't a movie, I don't have to explain and describe the shouting and arguing that ensued, so I'll get straight to the point: There wasn't much damage done to the vehicles, and everyone escaped unscathed.


Okay, I didn't exactly escape impending death here. But I don't want to wait for an actual fatal incident and other drama to come walking by and change my life. I'd rather make the best of what's already happened.

What it did was bring out a simple and obvious truth: You may think you're the most normal person in the world, reading weird scary stuff in the papers everyday, thinking surely that's never gonna happen to me. You might have planned every second of your life for the next ten years.


But the fact is, all that can be obliterated in a millisecond, without you sensing it coming at all.


All week I've been depressed because everyone seems to know what they're doing, and I don't even know what I want. Yesterday was definitely a hint.


Before anything else, I want to live.


And when I say this, I don't mean that every single minute I'm thinking, 'OMG I could die anytime. I'll just do/say what I want today!'


What I mean is, one needs to draw a line. Sometimes we forget this and overthink.
But from now on, I'll make a conscious effort to just relax. I never made any new year resolutions before, this looks like a good one to start with.

Happy New Year everyone! :)

2012: The first of hopefully many fridays :)