Thinking Aloud: Kung Fu Pisa

You know how some people appear inhumanly confident? They have this look, that says - "Hmm, I think I'll go cross the English Channel today. Mount Everest can wait another week"

Well, I'm not one of those people.

But it wasn't always so. Going back to my school days, achievement was commonly known in an academic sense. So standing first in class mattered to me, and I did it every time till Class 10. It never came as a big surprise to the other students, or anyone else around me. I looked the type. But I always kept my head down, and didn't exactly soar on cloud nine.

But after that, something changed. Let me cite a couple of instances.

It was Class 10, and I was nearing the dreaded-by-parents boards. I'm in my Maths tuition, and the teacher suddenly says to the guy sitting next to me, "I expect 95+ from you, dear boy. And Kishore, try and score 85."

"Ma'am, why 85? Why not 95+?"

Awkward silence.

The dear boy scored 80, and I got 95.

There are certain feelings we yearn for, deeply. For me, it has always been the feeling of winning. That pure ecstasy a football player feels when he scores a last minute goal. The moment when Andy Dufresne gets Shawshank Redemption. To feel even an iota of that, means absolutely everything to me.

I slackened a bit afterwards, and it was only six years later this feeling was abated slightly by getting placed.

The sole intention behind chasing MBA was CAT. I knew how unpredictable and challenging it was, and said to myself, this is it. You are my Sistine Chapel. The fix for my addiction.

I'm exactly one year into my MBA, and I still get scandalized looks of shock when people ask my percentile, and I say 99.3 . As if it's an unearthly event, and the sun rose from the west.

I didn't even share that on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I was elated beyond measure. But being the introvert I am, I never exactly celebrated the good times grandly.

Further illustrating this is a day from day 1 of my MBA summer placements. I'm sitting next to a friend, lost in thought. She asks, "What companies are you up for today?"

"Umm, I got placed yesterday."
Shock.
"What! Where? And why are you sitting like this!?"
I give a noncommittal shrug, and say Axis Bank. Notice the word shrug.

Which brings me to the crux of the matter, finally. Axis Bank gives out 4 best project awards every year, and I happened to finish 2nd among 32 interns. And this happens to be one of the rarest personal achievements I cared enough to share on Facebook.

On the first day back to college, the reactions were mixed. While a tiny fraction whole-heartedly congratulated, most of the other wishes had an undertone of bewilderment. Honestly it was exactly like Kung Fu Panda had been declared the Dragon Warrior. In fact even I responded to a few saying, "I don't know how I got it."

There's no hiding it; this got to me. I respond like that because I don't know how to look overconfident, arrogant and mightily pleased with myself. I just don't.

And no victory is ever enough, I'm not exactly alone in feeling like this.

Hit Harder, Agassi's father used to tell him, all the time. There is no climax. There is just the next crest.

Rio Ferdinand said in his autobiography, that Manchester United culturally isn't the madly-celebrating kind. During Sir Alex's reign, he says, the ecstasy of every cup and medal was short-lived. He inculcated this habit in the team too. If today they are champions, tomorrow they will already be plotting the next win.

The greatest Manchester comeback

Deep down, I have always felt the Manchester Red in me. Every success started with a failure, but like Manchester United, like the flowers of spring - I always came back.

Ultimately, now I am left with the epiphany that- not only I will always be a Kung Fu Panda, the quintessential underdog;
I will always be a winner, in my little world.

Taking off in the MBA Flight

In the beginning of the movie Batman Begins, when Bruce Wayne finally scales the mountain and reaches Ra's al Ghul, he is huffing and panting.

Ra’s: Are you ready to begin?

Bruce: I… I can barely stand.

And then he gets kicked to the ground. A couple of more blows later, Bruce finally starts to defend himself, puts up a fight, and eventually faints.

This is the welcome a b-school gives to you, once you scale the mountain called CAT.

I wasn’t oblivious to this. I have heard friends talk about it. Most of you must’ve heard this too. But it’s not the same thing. It’s like the Matrix; you can’t be told what it is, you have to see it for yourself.

The first couple of weeks aren’t so bad though, when the only thing turning up the heat on you is the Sun. You walk around in campus, and survey the crowds for what IT guys would call leads and opportunities. There is an aroma of new found freedom in the air, and a proclivity towards being irresponsible. 

And then out of nowhere, you are expected to be athletes. A multitude of races are laid in front of you, and your mind starts to spin.

Clubs. Committees. Presentations. Exams. Competitions. CV. Placements. Placements. Placements.

On the very first day, I remember a line from the induction ceremony: “Most of you here; your lives have been graced with success till now. But beware; a lot of you will experience failure here in some way or the other.”

His words started making sense soon enough.

The feeling of complete worthlessness is a phase through which almost every MBA student has to pass. Regardless of what you have achieved before b-school, or how inhumanly talented you are, you will break. There is no escaping it. Winning all the races is out of question.

Yet the fact that some seemingly do better than others is undeniable. Some have that extra spurt of energy for whatever they do. In fact, experienced folks start feeling like a hundred years old, when kids fresh out of grad school run around and speak with over-exuberance. “Who’s that jumpy kid? I hate that bastard.”

Needless to say, extroverts run riot. Poor introverts, especially those who lack self-esteem, are left to question if they even deserve being here. I belong to the latter, and ended up with zero club/committee selections. A couple of selection tasks required me to online propaganda, or write boring articles with fancy words so that it is apt for a newspaper. I blatantly refused. In fact, most tasks will make you ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this? Is this really my thing?” Most of the people do it anyway. While some merely believe they can do it, others would see the incentive – CV points.

The importance of CV points is understandable, when you realize that your batch is full of people like you. It’s not class 9^th anymore, where you were the only one who could speak amazingly fluent English, or write poetry, play football, or play guitar, or have 90+ percent marks in 10^th and 12^th standard. Or even have all of the above. (Actually, not having 90+ percent marks is a crime you’ll pay dearly for throughout this life and the next seven or eight lives.)

I digress. Having gone through the turmoil of this first term, with an internship secured for next summer, I have realized one thing. One may call it a cliché, but that’s why they’re called clichés. They’re lessons we need to learn again and again.

What we have on our resumes doesn’t differentiate us. It’s our attitude that does.

MBA teaches us this critical lesson. Everyone’s paths will be crossed by falls and failure, regardless of your resume. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve broken down like a child myself. But I did not lose faith, thanks to the unbelievable support of my parents. When it mattered, especially during the summer placements, I had it together. It’s what Yoda from Star Wars would call the Force. The invisible shield that acts as a cocoon against all fear, doubt and disbelief; and keeps moving forward.

A word ought to be said about the people. We humans have always shown great unity in adversity, and it is no different for Term 1. Every 1^st year would agree that the seniors made a phenomenal effort to ease our burden, and we’re all encouraged to follow suit next year for our successors.

Life in MBA till now has been like an aircraft taking off, without its passengers wearing seatbelts. Our insides have been properly shaken and stirred, and the plane is now stabilizing into an auto-pilot mode. Hereon, we can either take control and choose our destiny, or sit back and stick with the auto-pilot.

Hereon, the world is at our feet. 

The Liking Nonsense

There was a time when the first thing we did after waking up was brush our teeth. Today, it has been comprehensively beaten by 'check your phone'. Regardless of course of other 'pressing matters'.

So this noon, as I purred lazily and reached for my phone, it was filled with - no, overflowing with these:

"Please like my entry. Help our college win!"

"Please like the original photo, not this post."

"Please like this. And like this too, otherwise the like will not count."

What the fuck man.

Before writing this, I actually googled to see if there were any outbursts or even the slightest abomination of competitions based on Facebook/YouTube likes. To my utmost dejection, I could find none on page 1.

It has been around 7 months since I've started my MBA. And it is heartening to know I can vehemently write about it all I want, unlike being employed, where there's little you can write about your work.

Long story short, pretty much everything in this so called higher education is a farce. If you would ask me one thing, the one thing that is the least tainted and still has something real about it, it would be B-school competitions.

Now I'm not a very active guy in competitions myself, barring quizzes. But I know a fair bit about them.

To break it down for you, there are two types - the ones conducted by companies, and those conducted by B-school students themselves. I have nothing to say about the former, except that most of them are a brilliant learning experience.

No, I am talking to you, my dear budding MBAs.

You, my friends, are an exceptional lot. There is no question. Whatever college you're in, you have to accept that. Aptitude tests, interviews, group discussions, summer internships, clubs, - you have breached many walls.

Why this please like business then, I implore you?

Are we a bunch of jungle monkeys? Whoever screeches the loudest wins?

Are we WWE trump cards? Chest 50 beats Chest 48?

Are we standup comedians? Louder the laugh, better the joke?

No.

I mean the current situation is so pathetic, that even presentations on Finance are being collated into a single image, and begging for likes. Which basically means even if someone uses Newton's laws of motion for their financial projections, but gets the most likes because of their popularity and social adeptness, they win. Am I the only one who sees how abysmally absurd that is?

The only reason I can think of is laziness. Why go to the trouble of individual evaluation when it can be quantified and simplified, right?

Please, come out of your stupor. This is wrong. We are all well-educated men and women. Let us not pollute the sanctity of competitions. And there are better ways to market your clubs. Put a few heads together, and create something.

If we don't stop this, we are no different from the guys distributing flyers at malls and stations. When I see Marketing Club of XYZ forcing me to like their page, I imagine that flyer guy handing it to me. It will end up in the bin, and so will their reputation.

As wise men put it all the time - we are the future. Before launching another competition based on likes, give it a second thought.
I don't want the next generation living in a world where their feeling of self worth is decided by popularity. And I'm certain most of you don't, either.