Episode 1: The First Interview

The glass door opened smoothly, despite the trembling hand pushing it. I had just walked into the first interview of my life. The silence was so chilling, I hoped my heart beats weren't audible.

"Good evening, Sir." I put on my most humble and confident voice, with a hint of a smile.

The interviewer told me his name, which I didn't pay attention to. He ruffled around some papers on his table, probably from the previous interview. "Would you please throw these away ?" I promptly did.

As I settled on the chair comfortably, he asked, "Are you all right with the temperature ? Or you want the AC to be turned off ?". I honestly didn't care. "No sir, it's all right."

He gestured for the resume in my hand, which I had kept outside the folder. As he started to read my name, I helped him out. "Pisapati Kishore, sir. I'm a south Indian." I was counting on the name to make him grin. It worked.

Skimming through the second page, he saw my gpa record. "Tell me, why are some students having their grades upto six semesters, and others, just five ?" I wondered whether he was checking my senses, or genuinely interested. "Sir, actually the mechanical and ECE students had their training in the 6th semester, and their results are not yet out."

"Okay. So, you can start now." Start? Was there a paradigm? So I spontaneously gave my intro, "I'm Kishore, doing my BE in Instrumentation. I belong to Hyderabad, but since my dad's in Indian Oil, my home keeps shifting every now and then."

Everything I said was spontaneous. I just had glanced over the common HR questions before the interview.

The page flipped, and now he was reading my favorite part; the extra-curricular activities. "An editor. Can you explain what kind of editing did you do?"

"Sir, the newsletter's basically divided into four sections. I was the editor of the most popular one, C.G.P.A. And I didn't just edit the content submitted to me, I made a few contributions myself too, especially in the gossip section." "Gossip, I see.", he smiled. "Yes sir, it needs to be really witty and funny, as it's obviously the most popular." He looked impressed.

"Okay, so what would you say is your biggest achievement in college?" I didn't need to think twice. "Sir, there's a inter-hostel literary fest held here, called Acumen. I was elected as the representative of my hostel, which meant I was personally responsible for seven hundred people." I paused for his jaw to drop a few inches. It didn't. Just the usual head bobbing.

"Events like debating, poetry, role-playing, and some word games are conducted. I not only chose the participants, but entered myself and won my team a couple of events. Plus, there were marks for publicity too, which I handled pretty well. My team and I eventually won the trophy." There was no mistaking the reassuring nod this time. I was completely relaxed now.

He skipped over the theater part, and read the last line. "Football." "Sir, whether it comes to TV, computer or  real life, football is.." He broke me off, "Do you think Liverpool will win this league?" That caught me off guard. Despite it being an interview, there was no way I'd say it would. "No sir, their performance has been dismal this year."
"Hmmm..did you watch yesterday's match? I can't remember.." He tried to recall the outcome, but it seemed outlandish. Was he faking it ?

"I did, sir. It was against West Brom, I think. Torres scored the winner. It was a fantastic volley."
"Ahh.. yeah yeah!" Being a United fan, I couldn't believe I had watched it.

"So Kishore, why do you want this job?"  What was that ?! I felt as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water on my head all of a sudden. "Firstly, sir I want a non-tech job. Secondly I've heard a lot about how valuable the work experience from this company could be. And I really appreciate the fact that gpa is not a criteria for.." He cut me off, "Okay, what was your favorite subject then?"

This was the only answer I'd decided before stepping in. "Total Quality Management, sir."
"TQM...are you familiar with the probablity curves?" It took a moment to sink in.
"Oh, you mean probability distribution? Yeah, somewhat." Surely he wasn't going to ask me the theory?
"Okay, Kishore. Ever seen a mustard seed?" He couldn't be crazy. Probably hungry, I thought. "Sure sir."

"So there's this refill manufacturing company. Mind you, refill, not pen. What they do is, they have a huge vat of ink, from which the ink flows into the plastic tubes to be made into refills. Two months ago, a mustard seed fell into that vat. It's just thick enough to enter one refill. I bought this pen yesterday. Find the probability that the seed is in this pen's refill."

"How much time do I have, sir?"
"How much do you need?"
"About 5 minutes, sir."
"Fine, you have two minutes."

Yeah, there was no time to curse myself for saying TQM. I took a rough paper, drew my pen out like a sword. As if I'm playing an ancient warrior who got confused whether it was Lord of the rings, Gladiator, or Troy. I thought I'd better start asking some questions, and work it out slowly.

"Umm..what's the volume of the vat, sir ?"
"Ten thousand litres. And consider the refill volume to be 20mL."
"And how much time does 10000 litres take to be used up?"
"Once in a month."
Ten thousand divided by twenty. "No, you've got it wrong.", he interjected. Then I noticed the unit inconsistency, and said, "I'm not done, sir. ", multiplying the 10k by another thousand.

"Ha ha, okay. Kind of reminds you of those molarity concepts from twelfth. Do you recall them?" I was an ace at chemistry. And there were some things you could never forget. "Of course, sir."
He then asked me the formulae for molarity and molality, and asked them twice, trying to wound me up. But the mind is always racing when you really need it to be, and he was satisfied with my answers.

"Sir I was wondering, to how many companies these refills go to?" This was the most critical question, I think. Not many would have given it a thought.

"Four."

"First step, obviously, sir, would be 1/(no. of total refills). Since it would be shipped to four different companies, we'll multiply it by 1/4." With his approving expressions, I continued. "How many cities is the ink going to get shipped to, sir? "Let's say a hundred." Multiply by 1/100. I did not consider the different shipping process for each company.

"And where did you buy this pen?"
"Here in Patiala."
"Since you chose one of the four companies, multiply by another 1/4. And let's assume the number of stationery outlets in Patiala are.."
"Enough, enough! That will do. It was a pleasure meeting you." He was smiling. So was I.

I'd left my bag outside the hall, in the corridor, with no one watching it. It had both my wallet and cellphone. Precarious, but that's the way I live. Forty minutes, I was in there. Felt like ten to me.

The shortlist for the interview next morning was due in an hour or so.Back in my cluster, I waited, while narrating the story of my first interview to my friends, like a grandfather to his grandchildren. I just had a great date. Who cares whether I'd have a second one?
The world is full of possibilities.

Episode Zero: Rumour to the rescue

So where were we ? Ah yes, I had already left for college, where the real story begins.
Note: For people who haven't read it, this is a continuation of a story, so reading the previous post will help you enjoy.

Episode 0: Rumour to the rescue

Just like everybody else, I stepped into the 7th semester with a conviction to work harder than ever. But then, the moment I saw my friends again, I forgot about all that, and started enjoying life as usual. Only when the first notices from the visiting companies were out, we started to study. The marathon had begun.

One day, I saw Harry reading a novel called Dork. Intrigued, I asked what it was about. It turned out to be a series of diary entries, composed in a witty and funny manner, about the life of a guy just graduating from a management college and going through his interviews. Now I really wanted to read this.

Meanwhile, we were looking for aptitude questions, lateral thinking puzzles etc on the internet. It's a lot of fun,  honestly. Very few things in life are both fun and useful.

The day I finished reading Dork, I was fascinated with the idea of working in a consultancy. It's not that the book showed consultancies in a good light. I just wanted a non-tech job, in a consultancy. I had decided that.

The first notice was that of Grail research. With a package of 4L, and exactly the profile I was looking for, it was heartening to see they required a minimum gpa of 6. Plus the office was in noida, where I've lived nearly 14 years of my life.

Two other notices were out too, namely EXL (4.5L) and Evalueserve (3L). Someone had spread a rumor, that these were the last 3 companies visiting in the non-tech area.

Obviously, that was scary, as I knew there was no way I could get a tech job, and I just didn't want to enter the IT sector anymore. So despite the lousy package, I applied for Evalueserve (Evs) too. EXL wanted minimum gpa of 7, so this was the picture: Grail & Evs, as per rumor, were the only companies I was interested in.

But just a few days before it all started, Grail announced that they were raising the gpa bar to 7. I reacted as if I'd been rejected in an interview. Gloomy-ville.

So still riding on the rumor, Evs was going to be the last company visiting our campus, with a profile close to consulting. This stark realization hit me hard, and shook me out of my moodiness. Around two weeks were left to my judgement day, and I finally became serious. And I'm telling you, being serious in college is rare.


Borrowing the career launcher packages, learning more shortcuts from my friendly CAT aspirants, might give you an idea of how desperate I had become. I also applied for Nagarro Software, just to get the aptitude feel, which was two or three days before Evs.

Evs Eve:

I learnt the guess estimate problems from Lovneet & Rahul. Shruti taught me how to make a business plan on a one-hour phone call. And there I was, like a literary glutton, just absorbing everything I heard.

As night fell, my cluster (group of 11) were going out for dinner. I refused, saying I really needed to study, blah and blah.

And instead of doing blah blah, I switched on the TV and watched Liverpool vs. West Brom, in which Torres had finally cracked and scored the winner. (Yes this is relevant to the story.)

Later that night, Shruti and I were on gtalk. I remember just two things she said in that chat:

1. Don't expect to clear the written without cheating, as everyone does it.
2. It's your first company, so don't have too many hopes.

I didn't cheat. No matter what people say about the non-existence of concepts of honesty, I did not want my job to be based on a lie. And telling her that, I slept. Peacefully? Yeah right.

JUDGEMENT DAY:

Next morning, in the auditorium, I was seated in the thick of my friend circle. This bothered me a lot for some reason. There were more than 200 people in the audi, and I foresaw innumerable potential distractions. At the very last moment before the test started, I got up, and went to the outer edge of the crowd. Here it was much more silent. So when the question papers were being distributed, I felt relaxed.

The test was of half an hour, and I finished it 2 minutes before time. Apparently, the set I got (there were four) was the easiest. It was 2.30 pm, and the result was to be announced around 4.30.

And I waited. By 3.30 I was cracking stupid jokes. By 3.45, I was skimming through the HR interview questions. By 4.00, my head had heated up, and I had fever.

I heard music. My cell had started to sing, and joining the band, was my heart and its beats.

I'd gotten through. There was about an hour left before my interview, and the cold water from the shower pacified me completely. Anxiety had changed to excitement. 90 people were about to have their interview.

And that moment onwards, I had but one feeling throughout myself: I am going for my first interview! It did not matter anymore to me, what the result would be. I forgot everything else, put on my Arrow apparel, relishing the fact that, no matter what happens, I'll never forget this experience in my entire life. (reminds one of the SRK speech from Chak De - Sattar minute)

Outside the placement cell, people were nervously walking in and out. The people coming out were obviously being interviewed again, by the people yet to go in. I just eavesdropped a bit once or twice, nothing more.

The clock struck seven, and they called out 'Pisapati Kishore', mispronouncing my name, like most people. Despite the attitude I had built up, the heart rate has a nasty habit of jacking up when you expressly don't want it to.

And with a wide range of feelings, mostly positive, I opened the door and stepped inside.

How I met my employer: Prologue.

Okay kids, it's the story you've all been waiting for. The story of How I met my employer.

PROLOGUE:

It's the summer of 2010. Vacations have begun, and there I was, idling away the most boring period of the year. Yes, I hate vacations. They give me a sense of restlessness. Maybe it's because I've no friends in Gujarat.

And like every other 3rd year, I was waiting anxiously for the grades to be out. For those who don't know, I had a gpa of just 6.8 (Instrumentation). This used to depress me a lot, since my best friends were all nines. I got 7.6 in my first sem, and no matter how hard I tried (although usage of the word 'hard' is questionable), I constantly got 6.8 after that.

But in the sixth sem, I finally let go of my gpa insecurity, and decided to be passionate about stuff I like. This consequently led me to my biggest achievement in college yet. I was chosen as the HR (Hostel Representative) of my hostel, for the literary inter-hostel festival called Acumen. Actually there were three HRs, but since I was senior to the other two, I was the one pulling the strings.

No, that wasn't the achievement. Our hostel won it, and I led them to it. And for those not familiar with it, it is a big deal.

Anyway, it has a great relevance to my story, that's why I had to give you a gist.

So this time, when I got my grades, I was prepared. Prepared to accept the fact that everything has a price. Sure enough, I'd ended up on 6.5 this time, with my first ever D grade.

But guys, getting your lowest ever gpa, right before the placement season was about to begin, gets you bothered. Perturbed.


My gpa ended up on 6.86. I was heading into job-hunting as a six pointer. Scary. And no matter how many seniors I talked to, none gave me a positive vibe on the placement front. So I finally accepted the fact that IT is my only hope. And so, in the last two weeks of my vacation, I started solving placement papers of Accenture, TCS, Infosys etc.

As I waved goodbye to my parents from the Volvo to Ahmedabad, I couldn't tell what was on their minds. I had tried to assure them that I'll find a way into some IT company, somehow. But parents have their own magical way of knowing things, and they could clearly see, that I wasn't sure of anything myself.

Coming up next: Season 1, Episode 1, The First Interview.

6 minutes at the police station

For those who're getting really curious, here's a disappointing news. I did not get arrested for assault, shoplifting or adulteration. In fact, I did not get arrested at all.

I went there to get an agreement signed about my PG accommodation. I don't know if this rule is applicable all over India, but here in Baroda, you're supposed to get an agreement signed by you and your landlord. Kind of like an 'OK tested' from the police.

It was 6.25 p.m, and there I was, sitting on my chair, tired after office (without doing any work). Fifa 11 was on, and Wayne Rooney was all set to score a hat-trick, when the door bell rang.

Exasperated, I paused the game with an angry press on Esc. It was my landlord and his broker. After asking whether I was free, he told me to get dressed quickly, as that identity check, can be done only from 6 to 7 pm.

I've never been to a police station before. My familiarities are restricted to the ideas created by Dabangg, Hungama, and other movies with distinctive cop roles. There were a few 'SWAT vans' parked outside, and being my first time, I couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. I regretted wearing my awesome black Tee I bought from Thailand. And so, in I stepped.

It was as if I walked thirty years backwards. Probably the dingiest place I'd ever been to. The air was rotting, with the mixed smell of Pan and alcohol ( Gujarat is a dry state, I know), with mosquitoes swarming all over the place. I don't know how they could take it. Maybe they are the mosquito cops.

This was just a local branch of the main police station. There were two or three rooms, labelled something in Gujarati. I could only make out 'Inspector'. And there they were, the khaki pot bellies.

As I followed our broker into one of them, I figured instantly, that the only thing in the room which reassures you that it is indeed 2011, is the calendar. The room was just about the size of a hostel room for one. Just one difference though; the wall opposite to the (clerk cop's?) desk was not a wall.

It was a jail.

Five or six people were squeezed into this dark, black hole. They had all strangely bewildered looks on their faces, and I did not look again. On a corner, a huge red pan spit was lying. I remembered those computer games, in which you shoot a guy again and again, and blood is spattered all over the place.

I made my most innocent face, at the bald cop, waiting to be questioned, the environment already making me feel I had done something wrong.

My authentication was over in about six minutes, which involved some guj-hindi conversation, and a lot of nodding from my side, and 'jee sir' from the broker.

As I stepped out into the cool evening, I said to myself, that it's a lot more worth to commit a crime in perhaps the states, but definitely not here.

"Could it be Rooneyy ?? Yes! It's a hat-trick !"  Martin Tyler's commentary brought me back to the woo-hoo world.

Sachin Shrugged

The icon for so many. The man, for whom runs, records and respect, know no limits.The God of so many.
And finally, the best, and worst thing...the hope, for so many.
Sachin Tendulkar.


You could say that an introduction is quite unnecessary. Heck, I'm even angry with blogger, for underlining his name in red. But then, we should consider the possibility of someone from, I don't know, Argentina, stumbling upon this post. (And don't you dare make that face. It happens!)

When I wake up and get The Times of India every morning, I almost always flip directly to the sports page (the exception being some picture of a rich beautiful celeb on the global news, perhaps Carla Bruni).
Anyways, for those of you who're following, you might have noticed, there's a daily section for comments from celebrities(ranging from Priyanka Chopra, to Jeev Milkha Singh), on who's going to do it for Team India, in the forthcoming World Cup.


About 90% of them picked Sachin. And if you're surprised by that, then I am too.

As the world cup inches closer, the buzz is becoming louder, and louder. That if India has got any hopes of winning this cup, he is the man. That he is the master key, to all the gateways leading to eternal glory.

If there's a budding mathematician out there, here's a question for you: Calculate the weight of expectations on Sachin Tendulkar. Let me know when you're through.

Moving past the crazy math, in a way this really reminds me of Atlas, supporting the entire earth on his shoulders. Can he take it ?

The unfortunate thing, about being one of the best sportsmen in the world, is that no amount of records is enough. People want more, more, and more. An ODI double century. 17000 plus runs. 97 centuries, etc. But ONE failure. Say, in a critical do-or-die situation. ONE off performance. And it's ALL forgotten. Everything.

You might say that, this being his sixth world cup, that being 37 years old, it's all old hat. Used to all this pressure. But every man has a threshold. This might just be his final straw. Things have changed a lot, since the 2003 world cup. They say he's at his best right now. The better his form, the more the expectations, more the weight on his back. Doesn't it sound unfair?

After witnessing 2010, the year of sport-scams, we've seen the very best topple. Yet, somehow, our little master here, has eluded that. A clean sheet. Never slept with the wrong woman, or endorsed the wrong brand.

Yet, a billion hearts beat for him, with him, every time a bowler is making a run-up to deliver to him. It's truly unbelievable how one mortal can affect a country like India, and beyond. Ask him, what is stress.

Sure, I want India to win the world cup, like any other self respecting Indian. But this is what I don't want. I don't want Sachin to take the fall for everything, in case India don't make it. I don't want him to be persecuted, after everything he has done. Countless people feel proud to be an Indian, just because of him.

Dhoni recently quoted, 'We want to win the cup for him.' I can imagine so many captains who would've pinned all hopes on Sachin, and added to that load called India, to his back. But by saying this, he has agreed to share the load. This is exactly why I like Dhoni so much. What a leader.

I'm not hoping him to blast away sixes and fours all over the place. All I wish, is that every Indian should understand, that Sachin Tendulkar is not the nuclear bomb in India's weaponry. He's just the bravest soldier in the infantry.

I hope that, towards the end, he feels proud to have played for India, and continue to be the hero, of  us Indians.

A day at the office.

Before I start,

- I'm referring to my 6 months internship, and not my job. -(1)

- From equation 1, it is evident that I don't have a lot of work, so this is pretty much a spectator's view. :P

Back in college, I used to be (and still am, duh) a big fan of the TV show, The Office (US). For those of you who don't know about it, this show is almost entirely shot in the office of a paper company, and has all the ingredients of any corporate office:

1. Receptionist (Yes, female. Yes, cute.)

2. Cubicles

3. Sales people, Accountants

4. The boss, and the protagonist of the show, Michael Scott !

It's the kind of show which doesn't have any audience laughs, like in Friends, or That 70's show. It all looks real, which amplifies its humour quotient massively.

So when I first came to my office, I'd painted myself a mental picture of how it would be. Who'd be the one to get pranked, who'd be the girl to stare at, etc.

Next thing you know, I'm sending a text to Rishav and Gunjeet (Office fans), "Dude, the office is great..on Television ! :|"

Seriously guys, it was a disappointment. Right from the vanilla receptionist, to the boring employees.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with them, as such. But when you watch shows like The Office, or too much Hollywood, it's no good. No one wearing a black tux and moving around conspicuously, like in The Matrix. No packages from unknown people, no calls from anonymous secret agents, instructing you every movement, as you hang on to your life, and breath.

But it's been a month now, and I'm starting to notice some funny patterns. For instance, I can assure you, that the longest hour in the day is from 2 pm to 3 pm. It directly follows my happiest and favorite hour of the entire day, from 1 pm - 2 pm, THE LUNCH BREAK !

Starting from 2, any person you talk to, just anyone, would yawn atleast twice, every minute. Even your boss. Effect of the rice, I suppose. The whole office, during that hour, falls into a sullen silence, as if half-asleep. I, myself, start day-dreaming about sleep.

But then, the chaiwala approaches, at around 3.30, to every desk. The moment the tea touches your lips, all hell breaks loose. Suddenly phones start ringing, people are getting up (read waking up) from their chairs, up and about, scurrying here and there. It's as if we're all Popeyes, and the chaiwala gave spinach to all of us. Like we were all in a dream, with the tea giving us the kick.

And about the girls, well, there's only one worth the stare. ONE.

No wait, there's more...she happens to be the daughter of the managing director of the company. Period.

I feel like I'm lying in a desert, and the one pouch of water belongs costs a million bucks.(which i obviously don't have.) As if I have Mark Zuckerberg's laptop, but I don't have the password. As if she's on top of a skyscraper, without stairs or an elevator. (don't ask me how she got there)

It's okay. There're a lot more things you can do in office. One of them is blogging about it. :)

Review: The King's Speech

There are few who wouldn't be curious about a movie, which gets nominated for 12 oscars.

For those who didn't know that, I bet you are now.

DISCLAIMER: The blogger is not responsible for anyone who feels their experience was ruined by reading this post.

I hadn't even seen the movie's trailer before watching the movie. And once you read the news that it got 12 academy nominations, you try to look for those parts only, and decide whether it's justified.

The King's speech is a story about George the sixth(Colin Firth), who was the duke of York, and the younger of his father's (the then king) two sons. He had a stammer almost since his birth, and could not speak fluently, with or without a million people listening. This greatly affected his overall confidence in doing anything, so he was never prepared to become King.

After his father's demise, unusual circumstances forced him, and not his elder brother, the actual heir, to ascend the Throne. And hereby, the real story starts.

This was the year 1936, by the way. Just before the second war. The age of Hitler. Imagine the duke's reaction when he was chosen.

Fortunately, he finds a suitable Australian doctor, who gives him elocution lessons, using the most eccentric methods.

All right, I won't disclose anything else. In fact, it doesn't matter that much. This movie is more about artistic performances, than the suspense. Now my remarks:

-Make no mistake, Colin Firth was unbelievable. You don't get to see that level of acting much, these days. The entire movie is worth watching just because of his performance. An oscar after the golden globe, won't be surprising.

- The music director, Alexandre Desplat, makes you feel like you're walking in a forest, with a hint of rain, and a gentle breeze blowing. I love piano. (Although I want to see Hans Zimmer with the Oscar for Inception)

-Helena Bonhem Carter, the female lead, was also excellent. And by the way, brace yourself, she's the same person who played the role of Bellatrix Lestrange, in the Harry Potter movies. You'd be truly amazed about this, when you watch the movie.

- Geoffrey Rush, the doctor, totally deserves his nomination for the best supporting actor.

- The dialogues, albeit in British accent, can make you rewind.

- The cinematography and film editing are commendable. Although, a real cinematographer would appreciate it more.

So should you watch it ? For those who fall asleep in slow-paced movies, don't. For everyone who thinks a movie is not just about action, romance and comedy, do watch this.

Pure Oscar material. I hope you fully understand what that means.